Friday, February 25, 2011

Has it been that long?

Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted anything to this blog since October of last year! That just amazes me!!!

Life is good! I am very happy in life. I still don't have much of anything. The snowstorms we have been having have been wreaking havock on my arms, but I am determined not to let that get me down. I spent far too long dwelling on the bad stuff. "Oh, whoa is me!" Yea! Enough of that! Been there, done that! NO MORE!!! Life is too short to dwell on the bad stuff. It is time to focus on the good stuff, like God and family.

I am in such a good place now that I got God back into my life. I swear, I am totally a new person. I spend much of my time in God's word (The Bible), it really has changed me.

I recently saw a very good friend of mine. She has diabetes, rhuemetoid arthritis, carpal tunnel and no insurance. She is in a very bad place. She cracked a beer open at 12 in the afternoon. I'm afraid she is heading towards alcoholism, if she isn't already there. But something struck a chord in me. I looked at her, and I actually saw me. I saw the person I use to be. She is letting her circumstanes kick her down a very dark path. It truly saddens me. We went out, and she was just plain nasty to me. In reflection, I realized that was who I once was. Because of my arms being such an issue, not working for years, and being in a bad marraige, I was a miserable B! I got drunk, and I got nasty!

I realized that because of my circumstances, alcohol intensified all the bad things in my life. That is exactly what is happening with my friend. I need to have a heart to heart with her. I've been down that road, and it isn't pretty.

I didn't drink for 40 days, because I was using wine as a stress reliever and I wanted to stop it before it became a problem. Then I had a glass of wine with dinner at a friends, then last weekend I had two over the course of 4 hours, just relaxing. Then Sunday came. Daytona 500. I was with my friend that I mentioned above. I had a few too many glasses of wine. NOT GOOD!

I realized this is not what I want out of life. Why on earth am I drinking in bars? Granted it was Daytona 500, and it was a party, but it is not what I want out of life. I don't like being in a fog like that. That lifestyle of bars, and partying, is not me anymore. I'm not a kid. I'm a parent. What is the purpose? To get drunk! Who needs that?! I certainly don't! You are not going to meet a nice guy in a bar. I've changed. I am a different person. I am proud of who I have become, and who I am changing into on a daily basis.

I'm not sick anymore. I'm not depressed. I am happy. I feel like I have so much to give in this world, so much love, peace, joy and happiness. I love life. I don't need to drink for happiness, and I feel sorry for the people that feel they need to drink to find it. It will never happen. It will just suck you into darkness even more.

Live life! Be Happy! Don't let your circumstances get the best of you. Overcome them with determination and self-preservation. We all go thru junk in our lives. It is how we choose to deal with it which determines whether we will survive it or not. Strive to be a better person. Choose the right path. Live life!

Here are some cards I've made recently:

1 comment:

Zbear1 / Ronnie said...

I know exactly how you feel. Been there and done that and probably more. I am also from CT, from Bristol actually, and I came to the Lord in 1981...never lost the love of the Word. I may not have lived it all of the time, but never lost the love of the Word. I had a husband, who could not understand how I did not need a man in my life to be happy (and to him, God is a fictional crutch that people use to fulfill their own weakness). But I have told my kids....when you know God and have a relationship with Him, you don't NEED ANYONE else to be happy!! I am glad you came back and let God lead you again. My name is Ronnie and on Splitcoast Stampers I am Zbear1. Glad to meet you. Where in CT are you from?? (If you don't mind my asking) Hope to hear from you soon!! Ronnie