Sunday, April 22, 2012

Wow, It's been over a year!

It has been over a year since I posted on this blog.
A lot has happened in that time.  Do I remember much of it?  Not really.  What I do remember is having another arm surgery back in July.  This was the worst one of them all.  I was in so much pain for so long.  It took 2 months after my surgery before I could get into physical therapy.  Ridiculous!

I finally got the therapy I needed, and the pain has been resolved for the most part.  I have days here and there that are still extremely bad.  Now, I am waiting to get this work hardening program.  I have no strength in my right hand whatsoever.  I do the 4 exercises that I know every two days like I am suppose to, but I only have a 2 pound weight and in therapy I was up to 4 pounds with one of the exercises.

The insurance company and the lawyers are trying to close my case, but there is no way it can be closed.  I have no strength!  I am a right handed person who is doing the majority of my tasks left handed!  This is not right!  I can't even lift a full coffee cup right handed because I'm afraid I will drop it!  Tell me there isn't something wrong with that picture?!

I don't stamp as much as I use to.  Because if people compliment you, then you are obligated to reply to them.  That hurts me.  My arms are shot!  Both of them!  My left arm is getting bad because I do everything left handed the cubital tunnel is coming back.  I've already had surgery on this arm for that problem once.  I don't really want to do it again, but gee whiz what the heck am I suppose to do?

This is so frustrating!  Because I over-compensate with my left arm, now it is bad too!  I just wish the insurance people and lawyers would give me the treatment I need so I can get my right arm back to where it needs to be, so I don't have to over-compensate with the left and maybe I can avoid something more with that arm.

It has been 6 years that I've been going through this.  It is no fun for me!  I was an Office Manager for 7 years. I loved it.  But I know, there is no way I can go back to that type of work.  I'm actually looking for receptionist jobs just so I don't have to type all day.  What kind of life is this?  I'm a single mom.  I have to take care of my kid.  I have to maintain my house and I have difficulty even doing mundane tasks.  It is so upsetting.  Frustrating!  I hate this!  I feel so helpless.  All I have wanted since this has started is to feel better, and I keep getting the run around.  Does the insurance company really think they are going to save money by continuing to delay my care?  Do they think I will settle for less that almost back to normal as far as my health is concerned?  If they do, they are crazy.  I want to get back to 100% of what I can be considering what I've gone through.  Granted, it won't be 100% because 5 surgeries later, there is no 100% but I want to get back and be the best I can, and the way it is now, that isn't happening.

If someone asked me how I would rate my right hand/arm right now, I would say, I am 90% disabled.  Because I can't do anything.  I barely get by.  If I didn't have a left arm, I would be screwed!  I wouldn't be able to function at all.  These people don't see that and are just delaying the inevitable and costing themselves more by delaying what needs to be done, and it is at my expense.

I'm done blowing off steam.  I can't type any more.  My arms are starting to hurt.

Here are my most recent cards.

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